God, I haven't written in so long. And no, I didn't just take His name in vain. I cried out...because I've been needing to be heard for way too long, but haven't found the words to say. So I'm leaving it at this:
God, I haven't written in so long, but I so desperately need You to hear my heart anyway. Can You please do that? Put all these feelings into prayer and answer? Or maybe just listen to what's there even though I can't find the words? At least listen? At least let me feel that You know? That I may know all of these thoughts and feelings of complete wandering, sheer confusion, and extreme doubt are still part of Your plan? That I may know there is a plan...because I'm feeling like I diverted the plan a while ago and now I'm having to endure the consequences of choosing a different way. Even though I have no idea where or when I neglected the plan, where I lost my way. Still...I feel like it's gone, and something's not right. Everything is wrong.
God, I haven't written in so long.
