breath of fresh air

I have a friend. I have a good friend. I have a friend that has taught me so much through her simple actions. I have a good friend that has brought so much into my life in the past year. A friend that revealed how to be comfortable in your own skin- how to shine no matter what, how to let go of expectations and live freely. I have a friend. I have a friend.

College is a time of transition and growth. That is all I have heard since I graduated from highschool nearly 2 years ago. It's about change and finding yourself and who you are meant to be and what you are meant to give to the world. It's a time when you focus on what you want and what you need, and you hope that somehow those two things combine to form some deep, fulfilling future that satisfies the light in your heart that swells with each beat- a light that wants to burst forth and light up someone else, some other place. A light that wishes so badly to illuminate the dark of the world, even if it just flickers for a moment. College is about this. Guiding the light in your heart with the actions you make, the people you meet, the opportunities you take, the balance between the voices you listen to and ignore. I have a friend that has helped to reveal this to me. She was an answered prayer in a troubled time. She beckoned my light. Because of her, I know that I am in the right place, that I am meeting the right people, that I took advantage of at least one correct opportunity.

It is disheartening to think that sometimes such good friends- people with such influence- have their own lights that have to shine elsewhere. And yet, it is hopeful, it is happy, it is reassuring. It also resonates deep within me with peace to know that what she has given to me will also be able to be given to others. That she will move on and by finding her own place, her own path- by working to let her own light shine- she will beckon the lights of others as she has done for me. I have a friend. I have such a good friend.

My mom has always told me some people come for a moment and some people come to stay. I used to yearn for the friends that grew distant to stop their leaving. I used to want to be close to everyone forever. But, I have come to understand that if that was the case, then perhaps their specific purpose, the profound impact they have had on my own well-being, would not be as evident. Maybe I wouldn't see it as clearly, come to respect it like I need, or hold it in my heart as closely. Right now, I wouldn't be inspired to write. I wouldn't be drawn to stop and say a prayer for my friend, my very good friend. Who came to me with such joy and taught me how to be myself in such a changing time. Who has shown me that my life has a light that is shining just as it should be right now and it is okay to breathe. It is okay to feel lost as long as we don't lose the hope of being found.

May she always follow, guide, and harbor the bright light within her own heart. May she continue to speak so genuinely to the lives and lights of others. I have a friend. I have a good friend. What a breath of fresh air she has been to my life and my light.