I'm on my knees begging you to notice me.
Father, will you turn to me?
One tear in a driving rain, one voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart?
-10th avenue north
Patience is a funny thing. But what's really funny is that I find myself more irritated than laughing about it most of the time. Why do we have to wait? Why did God invent waiting anyway? What's so wrong with instant gratification? ...or maybe not even "instant" but just not what seems like forever. You know, instead of years, maybe a couple months. Or instead of a month, maybe a couple weeks. Instead of a week, I could go with a few days... What's the point in waiting an extended amount of time for something we really want, something we really need?
Waiting forces us to focus not on ourselves. I think God makes us wait because he knows that we wouldn't survive if we constantly received as much as we thought about our own desires.
Through waiting, I have to acknowledge not only my insufficiency and inadequacy, but my unworthiness. I don't deserve any of my heart's deepest needs because right where my needs are, there my sin is also. In patience I reflect on God's grace, God's power, God's mercy- God's will for my life. As much as I'd like to believe that the yearning in my soul is bringing my fulfillment closer, it's just not. The wonder of it, though, is that getting exactly what I know I want in this moment wouldn't satisfy me for an eternity like God's goodness and presence in my life does.
Waiting is the best thing that could happen to humanity; through patience we are allowed to reflect the image of God. What worldly desire supercedes that?
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